With Ramadhan fast approaching, we are already inundated with wedding invitations, all hoping to reach the altar before Ramadhan starts. It's not unusual to have at least three weddings in one day, heck the most we'd received for one day itself was 5!?! So one can imagine how difficult it can get when it comes to deciding which wedding to attend to. I know of some people who can hop from one wedding to another just to fulfil everyone's expectations but I can't do that. Neither can my parents.
Anyway I'm not here to discuss about ways to resolve this dilemma or why I can never do wed-hopping (if there is ever such a word). I want to talk about the old age question of why people want to get married.
A few weeks back whilst getting my manicure, I couldn't help but overhear a conversation between a customer and her stylist about marriage. Interestingly enough she was discussing about people's concept and assumption of marriage in today's world. She (rightfully?) pointed out how some people have this mistaken (or misguided?) belief that being in love with a person means getting married is the answer. So when a guy tells people the reason for marrying his girlfriend of, oh say, 2 years is that he loves her, does that mean he understands the meaning of marriage? Does it make any difference if this couple had known each other for 6 years?
Unfortunately I do not have the answer to that. BUT what I do understand is that marriage is more than being just being in love or meant for each other. Marriage is about: trust, accepting each other's shortcomings, flaws and demons especially those that never came out during the 'being-in-a-2-year-relationship' stage, understanding, respect, responsibility, give and take. Marriage also means waking up to the same person every day (and not realising one day that a mistake has been made!). And somewhere in between all that I've just mentioned is love. The love one feels for another will eventually grow into something other than the initial "I love you".
What I do know marriage isn't about is hoping one's spouse will do their reports. Nor is it about for the sake of achieving some kind of status or living the good life. If this is the case, then people should rethink about their reasons behind wanting to get married.
People often ask me when my big day will be or why I'm not married yet. I wish could tell them what I've just written but I know, they'll just dismiss my reasonings as being choosy. Yes I would like to get married one day but at the same time, I place a high value on marriage and I don't want to marry simply for the sake of getting married. As the saying goes, i'll know when it's right..
..IF only I could say the same thing for some..
Anyway I'm not here to discuss about ways to resolve this dilemma or why I can never do wed-hopping (if there is ever such a word). I want to talk about the old age question of why people want to get married.
A few weeks back whilst getting my manicure, I couldn't help but overhear a conversation between a customer and her stylist about marriage. Interestingly enough she was discussing about people's concept and assumption of marriage in today's world. She (rightfully?) pointed out how some people have this mistaken (or misguided?) belief that being in love with a person means getting married is the answer. So when a guy tells people the reason for marrying his girlfriend of, oh say, 2 years is that he loves her, does that mean he understands the meaning of marriage? Does it make any difference if this couple had known each other for 6 years?
Unfortunately I do not have the answer to that. BUT what I do understand is that marriage is more than being just being in love or meant for each other. Marriage is about: trust, accepting each other's shortcomings, flaws and demons especially those that never came out during the 'being-in-a-2-year-relationship' stage, understanding, respect, responsibility, give and take. Marriage also means waking up to the same person every day (and not realising one day that a mistake has been made!). And somewhere in between all that I've just mentioned is love. The love one feels for another will eventually grow into something other than the initial "I love you".
What I do know marriage isn't about is hoping one's spouse will do their reports. Nor is it about for the sake of achieving some kind of status or living the good life. If this is the case, then people should rethink about their reasons behind wanting to get married.
People often ask me when my big day will be or why I'm not married yet. I wish could tell them what I've just written but I know, they'll just dismiss my reasonings as being choosy. Yes I would like to get married one day but at the same time, I place a high value on marriage and I don't want to marry simply for the sake of getting married. As the saying goes, i'll know when it's right..
..IF only I could say the same thing for some..
1 comment:
Excellent post dear! Wholly agree with your points. If there's anything to add on my part is that people tend to get married because they don't want to stick out in the crowd i.e to be just the same which is really a boring reason and totally being untrue to yourself as a person... just my two cents.
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